Archive for coaching
- admin
- coaching
- Tuesday, August 10th, 2010
When you consider making a change in your life, where does your final decision come from? Past experience? Friends recommendation? You say to yourself: “It’s the most practical choice given the circumstances” or after weighing up the perceived options.
Why not trust your instincts and follow your “excitement centre”? Excitement what? You know, the spot in your body that tingles when you feel the rush from considering something wonderful or deeply thrilling. It might manifest as butterflies in the stomach, or a tingling in the chest, pins and needles in the palms, or just a huge uncontrollable grin. However it shows up in you, It’s your intuition, your antenna if you will, trying to communicate with you and trying to point you in a juicy direction. Listen to it closer, pay attention to it and it’ll get louder, trust it’s message for you and it’ll take you down a path that leads you to a place full of what you most definitely need.
Remember, this is not a “head” based process, there’s no logic, reasoning or brain activity that needs to happen. In fact its that part of the body, the head and it’s noisy content trying to be ever-so helpful that often gets in the way of your trusty excitement centres!
- admin
- Enquiry, coaching, self help
- Friday, April 23rd, 2010
There’s a real cathartic aspect to sharing personal perspectives in a blog post. This is an enquiry I explored recently with my coach and I thought I’d share it with you. I would love to hear your thoughts. I found in undertaking the enquiry it led me back to the core reasons as to why I am a coach. Enquiry: Why am I doing this? Not what do I think others expect me to be. What brought me to coaching and why bother? I am not the act, underlining my choice is a core truth. Explore this statement with curiosity. I encounter people on occasion who push my buttons in relation to coaching. I have a perspective on the person who says “oh yeah coaching, like Tony Robbins yeah, come and see me and I’ll charge the earth, promise to change your life and say everything will be awwwwesome” that makes me angry. I get tense, frustrated and annoyed at their small minded mentality and ignorence. My saboteur (negative inner voice), actually it feels like a part of me that needs to be liked, maybe a different saboteur, a 5 year old inner child, wants to desperately to prove to that person that coaching is a good thing and that my descision to become a coach was a good one. The 5 year old me wants to prove that I’ve not been “had” This then can lead me to act in a certain way, tense, defensive and desparate to demonstrate my “abillities” as a life coach. I loose sight of my true motivation and feel very hot headed. But. I am not this act, nor am I my reaction.
What does coaching mean to me? It means making a tangible difference to peoples lives, being a real friend to fellow human beings through thick and thin, it means doing something incredibly worthwhile with my time on Earth. Something that isn’t primarily about financial gain or material accumulation, putting people back in touch with what gives them a sense a fulfilment and joy. To be utterly present as they look to what is blocking the road ahead and holding the courageous space for them as they experience it. To allow them to look at these obstructions and see that they arent the enormous dark demons they imagined them to be after all. Nothing compares to that “ah-ha” moment. This work means something, it is my life-work, it’s my truth and my amazing discovery that I want others to experience. When two individuals connect in a coaching session at a very deep, essence level there’s resonance, a combining of who we are at our core, similar to when clouds combine and merge, we become one and the same, feeling true equality and being seen are enormous healers. You are not alone, you never were, nor ever will be. The work that you need to do, the treacherous valleys of avoidance and living “safe” you need to brave in order to feel as if you are enjoying a life of wonder and variety is completely doable. Whoever you are. It’s all completely possible and ultimately available. We just forget somewhere along the way how very capable we are, dusty layers of disenchantment and suppression settle upon our being and cloud our vision, limiting our outlook and our point of view. I help people remember who they are, what they came to do and I’m there with them on the journey, every little step, every giant leap of it. I love being a life coach, it is an honor and a real privilege.
Around a week ago after a busier-than-usual month, I noticed I was becoming a little short tempered. I had less concentration, was feeling sluggish (when I woke up), I found it hard to think straight or concentrate for any length of time and so on. I proceeded to look back over what seemed like an average few weeks for me and noticed a subtle pattern that had crept its way into my life, or rather the dark side of my life. Each night, on a regular basis, I was barely getting 7 hours sleep, usually less. Now you might think “hey, that’s not so bad, I can survive on that” but over time, repeatedly depriving myself of my natural requirement began to take it’s toll. Lack of enough sleep and quality rest was slowly but surely chiselling away at my natural defenses and ability to function properly. I was mildly zombie-fied (if that’s a word)
So, I made decision and I implemented a change. I knew for a fact that personally I couldn’t get off to bed at 10.30pm each night, as I enjoy some evening before the next day, to read, watch a film, socialise etc. I knew I didn’t want to alter my life style to something as drastic as this anyway. It had got to be realistic, knowing full well that if it felt imposed whether by myself or somebody else, it wouldn’t last (typical Aquarian spirit).
What I have done is hit the hay at 11.30 instead of my usual 12.30/1.00 and, within two days I noticed a difference. In just 5 days of adding an hours extra sleep to my nocturnal slumber I feel vastly different. I feel sharper, have a much higher tollarence to everyday challenges, am able to concentrate and connect to my clients, friends and colleagues on a deeper, more focussed level. I feel a distinct increase in my optimism (especially noticible as it’s plunging into the darker half of Autumn here in the UK at the moment). Amazing stuff really and so, so simple.
I think it proved to me that my body (when I slowed down enough to listen to it) knew exactly what to do and exactly what was needed. Even when I consciously didn’t realise or rebelliously chose to ignore. I now feel a darn site better for it.
I’ve gone on and taken this one step further, maybe because I have the additional energy to do so! I’ve started blocking out regular time in my calendar for “Recharge” this recharge time should consist of nothing but that which will allow my energy levels to increase, good old r & r!
So anyway, I would love to carry on but I’ve just noticed, it’s 11.30pm and we know what that means huh? ;-)
I’d love to hear how sleep has effected you, both the lack of it and what it has enabled you to do when you have allowed yourself your required amount.
- admin
- Creative Exploration and Tools
- Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
One of the things I really love indulging in (and it really is indulging) is Photography. There’s something about the medium that’s always fascinated me. Creatively, I find tremendous self expression in taking photos, it’s my meditation if you like-albeit an expensive meditation!
Feel free to jump on over to my Flickr page where I’m uploading new shots when I can. I’d love it if you added me as a contact and said hi, checking out other peoples work and collaborating is of real interest.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/philluminous/
- admin
- Creative Exploration and Tools
- Sunday, June 21st, 2009
I find mind mapping to be a really gratifying and more importantly, fun way of capturing and exploring an idea. It’s a great way of untangling an issue or looking at something laterally instead of the usual step by step analytical “problem solving” method. It offers you an alternative way to unwind the tangle of wool and come up with some surprising alternatives in the process. As well as mind mapping for myself, I frequently introduce mapping sessions to my clients, either there and then in the coaching session or as an inquiry for homework, it’s a great way to get exploring a metaphorical concept visually and feels much more fun than taxing.
There are numerous ways of creating mind maps, I use two. Pen’s and paper and software, both on my Mac and on my iPhone. I recommend playing with a combination that suits you most effectively. The current set up for me allows me to explore a thought or idea stream whenever I get the calling to do so. When at home, I suggest a nice big pad of paper, A3 minimum and as many coloured pens as you can lay your hands on! When the idea strikes, grab your pad and start mapping. On my Mac, I use a great piece of software called “Mind Node” which is free and incredibly easy to just jump into and get going-this is the essence of great mapping software, simple and powerful software that isn’t going to slow you down. Go grab a copy. On my iPhone (can’t always cart my A2 pad around with me on the train) I use a fabulous application called “Simple Mind” which again, is very simple to just dive straight into when inspiration strikes. Simple Mind is responsive enough that you can just fire it up and begin in seconds. Check it out here.
If you want to play with some other software, there’s a plethora of wonderful mind mapping and brain dumping title’s out there and lots of them are free: Click here
Here’s a few different styles of mind maps to get you all inspired, don’t feel limited to these though, devise your own too!
Finally, one of the beautiful things about mind mapping is that there are no rules. It doesn’t have to make sense, imagination is at play and there’s no right or wrong, this is incredibly liberating when we are so used to problem/solution thinking patterns. Have fun with it, it’s amazing what unexpected clarity and alternative idea’s sprout from these beautiful tree like structures.
- admin
- coaching
- Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009
So, today Friday the 27th February 2009, Luminous Lives has gone live. There are the little bits and pieces that still need a tinker and a tweak, but on the whole I’m enormously pleased with how it’s turned out.
My name is Phil Askew and I’m a Co-Active life coach specialising in creativity. If you haven’t yet seen it, check out the “About Me” page to get the full low down on exactly who I am.This area of the site, the Blog, will be a dynamic and frequently evolving area for me to go “blurgh”. Sometimes It’ll be a personal mind dump, sometimes something that’s caught my attention, or has provoked me and inspired me in some way. Now and then, I’ll post something to reflect upon or inquires to consider and on the odd occasion I’ll just splurge something a little left field, just, well, just because-we should never loose the sense of play!
I mean to bring creativity to the core of this blog too. Creativity in all it’s many wonderous forms, whether that be my Photography, design, poetry, inspirational stories or what ever turns up in the moment. It’s is so essential to keep exploring with creativity, we must not let the cold hard facts and figures of modern life overshadow this very important and very natural process. So there you are. I’d like to welcome you to my world and invite you to comment and respond, communicate and suggest-because no man (or woman) is an island and it’s when we converse with others; that we truly get a sense of who we are, what we are becoming and most importantly; what we have had the courage to leave behind.
Feel free to contact me with any queries you have regarding my coaching and if you’d like to experience Life Coaching first hand with a free sample session, just get in touch!