Archive for self help

I am not my reaction.

reactThere’s a real cathartic aspect to sharing personal perspectives in a blog post. This is an enquiry I explored recently with my coach and I thought I’d share it with you. I would love to hear your thoughts. I found in undertaking the enquiry it led me back to the core reasons as to why I am a coach. Enquiry: Why am I doing this? Not what do I think others expect me to be. What brought me to coaching and why bother? I am not the act, underlining my choice is a core truth. Explore this statement with curiosity. I encounter people on occasion who push my buttons in relation to coaching. I have a perspective on the person who says “oh yeah coaching, like Tony Robbins yeah, come and see me and I’ll charge the earth, promise to change your life and say everything will be awwwwesome” that makes me angry. I get tense, frustrated and annoyed at their small minded mentality and ignorence. My saboteur (negative inner voice), actually it feels like a part of me that needs to be liked, maybe a different saboteur, a 5 year old inner child, wants to desperately to prove to that person that coaching is a good thing and that my descision to become a coach was a good one. The 5 year old me wants to prove that I’ve not been “had” This then can lead me to act in a certain way, tense, defensive and desparate to demonstrate my “abillities” as a life coach. I loose sight of my true motivation and feel very hot headed. But. I am not this act, nor am I my reaction.

What does coaching mean to me? It means making a tangible difference to peoples lives, being a real friend to fellow human beings through thick and thin, it means doing something incredibly worthwhile with my time on Earth. Something that isn’t primarily about financial gain or material accumulation, putting people back in touch with what gives them a sense a fulfilment and joy. To be utterly present as they look to what is blocking the road ahead and holding the courageous space for them as they experience it. To allow them to look at these obstructions and see that they arent the enormous dark demons they imagined them to be after all. Nothing compares to that “ah-ha” moment. This work means something, it is my life-work, it’s my truth and my amazing discovery that I want others to experience. When two individuals connect in a coaching session at a very deep, essence level there’s resonance, a combining of who we are at our core, similar to when clouds combine and merge, we become one and the same, feeling true equality and being seen are enormous healers. You are not alone, you never were, nor ever will be. The work that you need to do, the treacherous valleys of avoidance and living “safe” you need to brave in order to feel as if you are enjoying a life of wonder and variety is completely doable. Whoever you are. It’s all completely possible and ultimately available. We just forget somewhere along the way how very capable we are, dusty layers of disenchantment and suppression settle upon our being and cloud our vision, limiting our outlook and our point of view. I help people remember who they are, what they came to do and I’m there with them on the journey, every little step, every giant leap of it. I love being a life coach, it is an honor and a real privilege.

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A very natural requirement

Around a week ago after a busier-than-usual month, I noticed I was becoming a little short tempered. I had less concentration, was feeling sluggish (when I woke up), I found it hard to think straight or concentrate for any length of time and so on. I proceeded to look back over what seemed like an average few weeks for me and noticed a subtle pattern that had crept its way into my life, or rather the dark side of my life. Each night, on a regular basis, I was barely getting 7 hours sleep, usually less. Now you might think “hey, that’s not so bad, I can survive on that” but over time, repeatedly depriving myself of my natural requirement began to take it’s toll. Lack of enough sleep and quality rest was slowly but surely chiselling away at my natural defenses and ability to function properly. I was mildly zombie-fied (if that’s a word)

So, I made decision and  I implemented a change. I knew for a fact that personally I couldn’t get off to bed at 10.30pm each night, as I enjoy some evening before the next day, to read, watch a film, socialise etc. I knew I didn’t want to alter my life style to something as drastic as this anyway. It had got to be realistic, knowing full well that if it felt imposed whether by myself or somebody else, it wouldn’t last (typical Aquarian spirit).

What I have done is hit the hay at 11.30 instead of my usual 12.30/1.00 and, within two days I noticed a difference. In just 5 days of adding an hours extra sleep to my nocturnal slumber I feel vastly different. I feel sharper, have a much higher tollarence to everyday challenges, am able to concentrate and connect to my clients, friends and colleagues on a deeper, more focussed level. I feel a distinct increase in my optimism (especially noticible as it’s plunging into the darker half of Autumn here in the UK at the moment). Amazing stuff really and so, so simple.

I think it proved to me that my body (when I slowed down enough to listen to it) knew exactly what to do and exactly what was needed. Even when I consciously didn’t realise or rebelliously chose to ignore. I now feel a darn site better for it.

I’ve gone on and taken this one step further, maybe because I have the additional energy to do so! I’ve started blocking out regular time in my calendar for “Recharge” this recharge time should consist of nothing but that which will allow my energy levels to increase, good old r & r!

So anyway, I would love to carry on but I’ve just noticed, it’s 11.30pm and we know what that means huh? ;-)

I’d love to hear how sleep has effected you, both the lack of it and what it has enabled you to do when you have allowed yourself your required amount.

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